Puzzle

Wow. It is almost the end of 2008. I couldn't wait for this year to come. I couldn't wait for all of the new changes... my senior year, graduation, college possibly, turning 18. It has been a crazy year and i loved every second of it. 2009 i'm not too sure about. I've been desperately but futiley trying to figure out what i want to do with my life. And not just that but what i even enjoy or am good at. It's a bit frustrating. 

 

Sometimes i feel like i'm playing that game where you get blindfolded and have to hold on to the person in front of you and let them lead the way. Im worried that i'll trip and fall along the way to wherever i'm going. Im worried that the way to my destination is going to hurt. 

 

Sometimes i feel like i'm playing the same game but i cant hold on to the person and i have to just listen to their voice. That's a whole new level of worry. What if i hear the wrong thing? What am i about to run into?

 

The scariest times are when i feel like im playing that game but it's the part at the end where the other person is standing across a long distance from me and they tell me to just run as fast as i can straight toward their voice. Running blindfolded is a terrifying thing. Not only am i worried about running the wrong way or tripping over something but im worried because im worried... Do i really trust the person who's telling me to run? 

 

To me it's like this mysterious thing called "God's will" is hit or miss and only the really good Christians know how to get there or know how keep their balance along the way at least. 

 

But then i think where are we actually going? What am i trying to get to? Once im "there" (wherever that is) my mind will already by headed to the next place won't it? If i "arrive" will i notice it? Will i appreciate it? 

 

Maybe life isn't a path. At least if it is, i think it's better for me not to think of it as one. Jeremy helped me think of it as a puzzle. You can't solve a puzzle the wrong way because all of it fits together eventually. I don't even have to understand what it is supposed to look like. All i have to do is find something that looks like the piece in my hand. Pretty simple. 

 

Maybe "it's not figuring out the puzzle out but knowing that it all fits."

 

This next year is full of these: ???, and i am going to try to not let that get to me for a change. So what if i try to put something together that doesn't fit? I'll pick up another piece and try again. I'm in no hurry to get the puzzle finished because the adventure and joy is in putting it together. 

Normal is a Myth

What is "normal" anyway? And why is it so important? Why are we desperately trying to stay within this imaginary zone of normality? Why does it make us uncomfortable when people do something different or risky?

I happened upon this quote in a book called The Shack. (I dare say it's one of the best books i've read in my entire life- check it out!) And it has completely rocked my world. I find myself quoting it in my mind almost every day. I do this because i've noticed that i struggle an awful lot with this fear of being abnormal. Silly i know. I apply it to all kinds of levels in my life.

Me and my friend... i'll call her Betty... were talking one day about all of the things we would change about ourself. Pretty normal subject matter in the world of teenage girls. Anyway, we kept saying that this part of our body or that way we think about this is different than everyone else it seems. It's extremely unnerving to realize that one part about yourself is not like most people. I am usually a person who enjoys being different... but i have to admit, sometimes it's uncomfortable when that something different isn't something i was trying to make different. 

But again... What is normal anyway? Is it a perfectly tone, olive-complected body? Is it middle-class? How much money does it make? Does it always agree with everyone? Does it stay in the United States? Does it have tattoos? Does it have perfectly manicured nails? What political party does it claim? Does it have to be smart?

If normal is what i think it is i don't think Jesus would like it very much. It's oddly comforting to see that Jesus was in no way "normal". 

The Bible talks about us Christians being a "peculiar" people. (Exd 19:5, Deu 14:2, Deu 26:18, Psa 135:4, Tts 2:14, 1Pe 2:9) I looked up what that word "peculiar" really meant and it surprised me. It always has to do with a possession or obtaining a possession. 

So here's what i'm thinking...

When God saved us, He reconciled us to Him. He is making us into what we were created to be. We are his possessions. His peculiar people. We are being made into what we should have been... something very abnormal compared to the rest of the world. 

If i explained this clearly it should be a very freeing thought. Who cares if we are "normal". 

Because "normal" in our minds really doesn't count for much does it? 

Because "normal" is a myth. 

It's Here!

Front:

Back: 

YAY!!!

This is so exciting that it is starting to come together finally. If you're totally lost, check out "React". 

I'll be sure to update you guys on how it goes!

me and a friend went hiking...

• "Earth's crammed with Heaven, and every common bush afire with God, But only he who sees takes off his shoes-- the rest sit round it and pluck blackberries." -Elizabeth Barrett Browning

VOTATION!

I too voted for the first time in my life and it was thrilling! Here's a snapshot of the magical moment: 

Beautiful

I really just want to light something on fire... haha. I really do want to scream though. I love writing but GEEZ LOUISE at the papers I have to do! I know I'm a cry baby.... :)

So whenever I have a stressful day i just walk and run around campus until I cant breathe anymore... So that's what I did today. It was so nice just to spend time with myself and God. I went to the falls by myself for the first time. I think it should be a requirement for every human being to sit by themselves for an hour or two in nature. There's something freeing in beauty. That's always been my favorite characteristic of God. Maybe it's just because I'm a girl, I dunno. But it just makes me smile when I see something truly beautiful. Like when light hits the dust in the air or the rocks in the sidewalks just right--it reminds me of stars. Today I just sat on the sandbar by the falls and I literally could not take my eyes off of it. I wasn't praying or even thinking. I was just enraptured. Beauty does that to a person. It makes me forget where I am and what I'm doing or about to do. It forces me to be fully present in a moment. Maybe that's why I'm so addicted to finding it in everything. 

...Just my thoughts on my little escapade. I hope you have a beautiful day today.

"He hath made everything beautiful in His time. He has also put eternity in their hearts, but man cannot discover the work God has done from beginning to end." 

React

So the Toccoa girls and I have been thinking for a while about how to react. God has been placing this burden in our hearts since long before each one of us came to Toccoa. One girl has been praying with her church specifically for the homeless for six months. One night she was crying into her pillow and realized that homeless people don't have pillows to cry into. They don't have anything soft to lay their head on. She wants to change it. Simple. Another girl has tremendous compassion for the girls at the local crisis pregnancy center. She wants to get involved in their life and support them in every way she can. Other girls say they are sick of having everything handed to them. They want to give because it just feels right that way. A few other girls just say that they don't see why they wouldn't give to other people. Beautiful. We've grown up reading the Bible and some of us even teaching it. We've heard sermons about Jesus' life and have had to study it for tests. His life seems so foreign to us but it's intriguing. Jesus made friends with the poor and outcasts. He ate with them and lived to meet their needs. We've come to the conclusion that we think Jesus really meant it when He said feed the poor. So that's what we are going to do. A few of us like to create so we decided that we would design a t-shirt to sell for a few organizations around Toccoa. We are working with Jordan Andree (JordanAndree.com Check it out!), and we will be sure to send a picture as soon as we come up with something. We wanted to make a shirt that would help as many causes that needed funds. As of right now we are helping the local crisis pregnancy center, pond street ministries, a ministry that provides necessities to government housed people, and Shirly's Soul Food, an organization that helps homeless people get back on their feet. (That's where we will donate the pillows!)  We are so excited to actually put our faith in action. Like a few of the girls said- it just feels right. Please pray with us that we can react the way Jesus did. 

College...what???

I AM EFFERVESCENT!!!!! (psh... i got that from thesaurus.com. pretty dern sweet i think!)

We leave tomorrow and we move in saturday... 

I didn't realize how much crap i had... I filled up two cars but i swear i only packed necessities! I am so ready to go. It's so wierd because i really didn't think i was going to be able to go. God is so funny! Anyway... Ill be sure to write about what's happening later. 

~peace. 

AHHHHHH IM GOING TO COLLEGE!!!!! YAY!!!

Dirty

July 21, 2008

Today we went to the orphanage. I was sitting on the veranda with some of the girls from the other church and this autistic girl runs in screaming bloody murder and jumps into my lap. I couldn't catch her so she just threw herself in a corner and continued sobbing and throwing her head back and forth. All i could do was go over and put my hand on her head and whisper to her until she calmed down. Slowly her breathing steadied and she crawled into my lap. It was one of those times when i had to mentally record the moment. The whole day at the orphanage was filled with those. When i held the babies as i was feeding them i tried to record in my mind how precious and content she looked. I love those times when i am fully present somewhere. It just feels like it fits. I know it's a mother/girl thing but there is so much peace in holding someone. Even if you are consoling someone it brings you peace. Those kids were filthy but i couldn't help but hold them. Maybe that's why God wants us to enter into people's lives. To get involved with the nitty gritty parts of people's lives. If i stand on the outside and think that charity checks do the job then i and the other person completely miss out on the connection and peace in a hug. I think God knew what He was doing when He brought Jesus into the world in poverty. God wanted Him to be intertwined with the lives of the poor. Not just for their benefit but for ours as well. This whole new concept i'm learning called the Kingdom of God is indescribable. It's beauty captivates me and i cant help but pursue this new way of life. But i can tell you one thing. This kingdom isn't at all clean. 

And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said, Blessed [be ye] poor: for yours is the kingdom of God.

Luke 6:20

Sand Dollars

So do you ever have those moments when you say something and think "Ok God just totally possessed my body there for a second and said that"  haha. I had that yesterday. 

I'm on vacation with my mom and family in Hilton Head. Yesterday my mom and I went walking on the beach to collect sand dollars. Yeah, my mom is most likely going to make jewelry out of them. (surprise surprise haha) As we were walking i noticed that my mom was collecting a lot more than me. The competitiveness came out in me all of a sudden. So i separated from them so i could find more than them. ha! I only found a few and i saw that they were collecting tons. So i just caught back up with them. 

As i was walking with them i said, "I think the reason i can't find as many is because i keep looking ahead of me instead of looking right at my feet." 

I think i do that with a lot of things. 

Sometimes i try so hard to look for God so that i can help others. I almost get burnt out trying to learn something. But i've been thinking lately that it's a lot easier than that. Maybe God is right at my feet. 

Fried Chicken

So im at Walgreens on break and the lame music cuts off. It was great but i wondered why and i walked outside of the break room and half the power was out. My friend walks in and says a lot of people are surrounding a dead buzzard in the middle of the road. We don't know if big bird is the cause but i still think it's stinkin' hilarious because IT IS SWEET REVENGE ON THOSE BLASTED BIRDS! 

Attacked

I just had the most terrifying and hilarious thing happen to me...

OK so i am taking my morning walk as usual and i spotted this big black crow in the middle of the road feasting on some fresh squirrel carcass... perfect time to take a picture right? I took a couple on my phone and kept walking. And then it happened...

This little brown bird swoops down and pecks me in the head and almost takes my ponytail out! I turned around to see if it was the crow and this little bird is flying right in front of my face like staring me down!!!

I guess he was like the crow's side-kick hit-man or something. He had about three more hovering above him in case some idiot dared to take another picture. 

Needless to say i screamed for dear life and ran all the way home. 

Yes you better believe there will be pictures... I just have to figure out how to get them on here off my cell phone.

I guess Canada Day is making those birds loopy...

Balloons

When you were a little kid didn't you just love to get balloons? One night when i was working at "the wal" (walgreens lol) there was this little kid riding around in the buggy and he had a balloon in his hand. I just knew what was about to happen though... and sure enough it did. He let it go. It wasn't a big deal because we got him another one, but i just thought to myself, "Now how many more times am i going to have to do that?" Sometimes when i was little i would just forget that the balloon was in my hand and it would float away. That was always a bummer.

 

I have been learning some really cool stuff lately and a few of my thousand plus questions have been being answered in the coolest ways. I love how God is working in my life right now. But to be completely honest, the better it gets the more paranoid i become. Sometimes i feel like i have to hold on to God so tight. I am so scared of losing sight of Him.

It's like im holding a balloon. I want to hold on to it because it's pretty and fun to play with, but sometimes i want to use that hand for something else. I dont want to let go though because i might not be able to reach it again. So i hold on to it. But what if i just forget that it's in my hand and i let it go? What if i don't notice that i've lost it?

 

All of these thoughts came to me last night (June 18) as i was writing to God. I have a really pretty journal that has verses on the bottom of each page. It's kind of funny how each verse somehow fits with what i was saying on that page (Very cool God!) So yesterday's verse was Matthew 28:20 "Surely I am with you always, to the very end of this age."

I cant really tell you this cool analogy that i made up to answer my question. All i know is that i have to trust the Bible. That is what it says and that is what im hanging on to until God decides to give me a further explanation. 

I dont know if anyone has ever felt like this. Heck, i might just be making a complete fool of myself. But this isnt about me. I want to help other people but im not going to write about what i think other people need.  I have to write about what is true in my own life because that is all i can do. I am the only person i can speak for. Maybe someone can learn something from it. This is what God is doing right now and that has to have some weight.

~peace.

My Serendipity

...Wow... My day was just that. 

So I love thesaurus.com. It makes me sound so smart in my term papers. :) I was looking for a word to perfectly describe today, and I found the perfect one. 

 

Serendipitous: the faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.

 

Let me elaborate...

So my day started about 12:30 this morning. I woke up in a sweat. Not because of a scary dream or anything, but because it was actually like 90 degrees in my house. Why? I’m glad you asked... MY ELECTRICITY WENT OUT! Ugh! And for the most ridiculous reason i've ever heard... a woodpecker... yeah... Having the electricity out is only fun when it’s on a cold night and you get to have fun with flashlights. But that was not the case today... You see last night we had fajitas for dinner. They were delicious! But this morning the whole house smelled like hot raunchy onions. So here I was annoyed and sweaty and bored. So I decided to check my facebook mail...HA!!! 

So after that I just figured that the hot outside was better than the hot oniony inside of my house and I decided to go for my morning walk. There was nothing better to do so I walked farther than I usually do this morning. I always love going into this neighborhood called Sapphire Island. No, not because it's a magical land with roads made of sapphire...ha-ha. It's has just always been a beautiful place to me. Every house or mansion I should say, has a dock that overlooks Betz Creek. The neighborhood always has the most colorful flowers on every lawn and the sides of the streets are covered with tall palm trees. But today when I walked through the neighborhood it was different or maybe it was always this way and I never really noticed it. It was really quiet. I was greeted only once with a head nod and half of a wave. As I walked farther I noticed I was alone. No one was outside. The only other greeting I received was from a whiny cat who I think had rabies or something. Maybe there was no one else outside because everyone was at work; or maybe because the power was out and everybody else's house smelled tolerable enough to stay inside. I don’t know. It just felt eerie. Every single house had beautiful homely porches with two or three rocking chairs but I never saw anybody sitting in them. I saw picnic tables and baseball toy games in the yard but nobody was out there to use them.

I remember when we were in the Dominican Republic. When we went horseback riding through the villages we had to make sure we didn’t run over people because everyone was outside. There were dozens of people sitting around the streets just talking and laughing with each other. We saw old ladies fixing soup for anyone to have as they came to visit. We saw a huge game of baseball going on. It seemed like all the guys from the village were either playing or cheering them on. These people were really living.

I think that it’s ironic that the Dominican people had next to nothing yet they were the most giving people I have ever met. Maybe we are different because we have so much. Maybe if we didn’t put so much worth into our possessions they’d be easier to give away. Maybe the reason Christ tells us to sell our stuff and give to the poor is not just for their benefit but for ours as well.

Maybe this all sounds cliché to you, but all of this has really rocked my world this week. I don’t have a deeply profound little slogan to explain my thoughts. I don’t have a three-point lesson. I don’t even think I have final point. My purpose in doing this blog is to tell other people how I am recognizing God in our world with hopes that they will be inspired to do the same. I know all of this sounds random. So maybe all I want to say in closing is that today I saw huge beautiful houses with unfriendly and closed off people living in them and in the Dominican Republic I saw run down shacks with some of the most giving, genuine, and wonderful people in the world living in them. Maybe someone can learn something from this. Comment if you did.

~Peace 

"I, therefore, a prisoner in the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience accepting one another in love, diligently keeping the unity of the spirit with the peace that binds us. There is one body and one Spirit just as you were called to one hope at your calling; one Lord, on faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all"           Ephesians 4:1-6

The Love of God is Folly

So this is my first post... kind of exciting i think! This one isn't an answer to any of my one of my seven thousand and two questions. It just explains the crazy cool meaning behind my blog title: "L'amour de Dieu est folie!"

I first stumbled upon this awesome nugget when i was reading "The Ragamuffin Gospel". (great book by the way, visual edition too!)
On Easter morning in France, you will see this phrase posted on the side of buildings, buses, and houses; graffitied on sidewalks and lamp posts and written on bathroom walls. The French sing it in church and even use it as a greeting as they wave to their neighbors. It means the love of God is folly (or foolishness). It sounds absurd and yeah it is. But it is kind of cool when you think about it. Jesus came down from perfectville and became one of us lousy humans, wasn't even liked by many people, was punched and spit on, humiliated, and eventually nailed to a piece of wood- for us. All because he...loved us? I've been learning lately that God’s love is not rational most of the time. Not only is it not rational, but it is also not in the least bit dignified. I was reading this other guy's blog and he put it perfectly. "The love of God is folly. It's insanity. It's crazy. Its the stuff of legend and myth and story. It's a scandal. It's an injustice. It's not reality. Or maybe I am all of those things and the love of God is all that really is."

God's love is that unrelenting. And that is hard for me because Christ tells us to love like He loves. I don’t have any examples of how I have loved someone like that lately because, frankly, I stink at it. We all do sometimes. But I pray that I, along with anyone else who is reading this, will have an opportunity to give someone this crazy thing called love. (I think that’s a title of a song… ha) We are all on this journey together so if you have any cool stories about how you have given love, received love, or seen love in action, please comment.

“I pray that you, being rooted and deeply established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God’s love and to know the Messiah’s love that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with the fullness of God.”   
Ephesians 3:17b-19

Come and See

Fleece Blanket Drive

It all started with me wanting to help but I didn’t know how. I wanted to be the hands and feet of Christ but I didn’t know how to start. Mrs wendy gave an excellent suggestion for a fleece blanket drive for the homeless. A fleece blanket does a lot of good b/c it’s a source of warmth, shelter, and it gives security. 

Well all I needed was a big box. Me and my mom went to sams club b/c they always have huge quantities of random stuff that goes in big boxes. As I was walkin down the aisle, I saw a big box that was perfect , but it was filled with towels. So I proceeded to put the towels in another box- I was determined lol So me and my mom just took the boxes. Well we felt guilty for not askin so we asked the little greeter lady if we could have them- like she would know! (lol)- and she said sure so we took them. I wouldn’t recommend stealing though!  lol

So all I needed was a box to be the hands and feet of Christ. A lot of times we just talk about being Christ to others and helping the community but we never do it. After a message we say, yeah that’s a beautiful thought and ill think on that for this week but as for applying it… yeah not so much for me. My life is sooo busy and God will understand that… We start to spiritualize what the bible says so much that it becomes “un-applyable” In a recent survey of “strong Christians” nearly 80% of them said that Jesus spent time with the poor. This same group of Christians was later asked if they spent time with the poor and less than 2% said they did.

Therein lies an important lesson. We can admire and worship Jesus without doin wht he did. We can applaud at what he preached and stood for without caring about the same things. We can adore his cross without takin up our own. 

With the fleece blanket drive I didn’t try to find an easy way to help--- I wanted to help and it happened to be easy. Being the hands and feet of Christ ive learned is nothing complex- its simply loving your neighbors. Mother Teresa used to say,”We can do no great things, just small things with great love. It is not how much you do, but how much love you put in doing it.” One of the coolest things about her, is that when ppl would admire her and ask her how serving the dying poor in Calcutta was goin, she would just simply say “Come and See” 

Maybe you saw this posted on the fleece blanket drive box . I thought it beautifully explains what Mother Teresa means by “come and see””
Two guys are talking to each other, and one of them asks why God allows all this poverty and way and suffering to exist in the world. And his friend says well why don’t you ask him. The guys shakes his head and says that he is scared. When his friend asks why he mutters, “Im scared God will ask me the same question.” Over and over, when I ask God why all of these injustices are allowed to exist in the world, I can feel the spirit whisper to me, “You tell me why we allow this to happen. You are my body, my hands, my feet.”


There are about 4000 to 5000 homeless people in Savannah alone.
The death rate of homeless people is almost four times greater than that of the general population.
Harsh living conditions and constant exposure to the elements leave a homeless person more susceptible to acute illness and traumatic injuries.
What can be the first thing to start with when becoming the hands and feet of Christ?

On the union mission and savannah city mission website there are wishlists that contain things that are sooo simple to donate. Things like nail-filers, towels, socks, light bulbs, and umbrellas. Another thing that is really good to donate is CAT bus tickets. 

For all of those who donated blankets, towels, and other things- thank-you. And not only do I thank you for making this happen and being a blessing to me but the guys at the union mission thank-you- they told me so!  When I dropped the blankets off, some of the men who lived there came to help us carry them to the mission. They looked at the blankets- something so basic- as something worth so much. Not only did you give them warmth, shelter, and security--- but you gave them love- something that everyone needs a constant supply of.

God Bless