Dirty

July 21, 2008

Today we went to the orphanage. I was sitting on the veranda with some of the girls from the other church and this autistic girl runs in screaming bloody murder and jumps into my lap. I couldn't catch her so she just threw herself in a corner and continued sobbing and throwing her head back and forth. All i could do was go over and put my hand on her head and whisper to her until she calmed down. Slowly her breathing steadied and she crawled into my lap. It was one of those times when i had to mentally record the moment. The whole day at the orphanage was filled with those. When i held the babies as i was feeding them i tried to record in my mind how precious and content she looked. I love those times when i am fully present somewhere. It just feels like it fits. I know it's a mother/girl thing but there is so much peace in holding someone. Even if you are consoling someone it brings you peace. Those kids were filthy but i couldn't help but hold them. Maybe that's why God wants us to enter into people's lives. To get involved with the nitty gritty parts of people's lives. If i stand on the outside and think that charity checks do the job then i and the other person completely miss out on the connection and peace in a hug. I think God knew what He was doing when He brought Jesus into the world in poverty. God wanted Him to be intertwined with the lives of the poor. Not just for their benefit but for ours as well. This whole new concept i'm learning called the Kingdom of God is indescribable. It's beauty captivates me and i cant help but pursue this new way of life. But i can tell you one thing. This kingdom isn't at all clean. 

And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said, Blessed [be ye] poor: for yours is the kingdom of God.

Luke 6:20