Puzzle

Wow. It is almost the end of 2008. I couldn't wait for this year to come. I couldn't wait for all of the new changes... my senior year, graduation, college possibly, turning 18. It has been a crazy year and i loved every second of it. 2009 i'm not too sure about. I've been desperately but futiley trying to figure out what i want to do with my life. And not just that but what i even enjoy or am good at. It's a bit frustrating. 

 

Sometimes i feel like i'm playing that game where you get blindfolded and have to hold on to the person in front of you and let them lead the way. Im worried that i'll trip and fall along the way to wherever i'm going. Im worried that the way to my destination is going to hurt. 

 

Sometimes i feel like i'm playing the same game but i cant hold on to the person and i have to just listen to their voice. That's a whole new level of worry. What if i hear the wrong thing? What am i about to run into?

 

The scariest times are when i feel like im playing that game but it's the part at the end where the other person is standing across a long distance from me and they tell me to just run as fast as i can straight toward their voice. Running blindfolded is a terrifying thing. Not only am i worried about running the wrong way or tripping over something but im worried because im worried... Do i really trust the person who's telling me to run? 

 

To me it's like this mysterious thing called "God's will" is hit or miss and only the really good Christians know how to get there or know how keep their balance along the way at least. 

 

But then i think where are we actually going? What am i trying to get to? Once im "there" (wherever that is) my mind will already by headed to the next place won't it? If i "arrive" will i notice it? Will i appreciate it? 

 

Maybe life isn't a path. At least if it is, i think it's better for me not to think of it as one. Jeremy helped me think of it as a puzzle. You can't solve a puzzle the wrong way because all of it fits together eventually. I don't even have to understand what it is supposed to look like. All i have to do is find something that looks like the piece in my hand. Pretty simple. 

 

Maybe "it's not figuring out the puzzle out but knowing that it all fits."

 

This next year is full of these: ???, and i am going to try to not let that get to me for a change. So what if i try to put something together that doesn't fit? I'll pick up another piece and try again. I'm in no hurry to get the puzzle finished because the adventure and joy is in putting it together. 

Normal is a Myth

What is "normal" anyway? And why is it so important? Why are we desperately trying to stay within this imaginary zone of normality? Why does it make us uncomfortable when people do something different or risky?

I happened upon this quote in a book called The Shack. (I dare say it's one of the best books i've read in my entire life- check it out!) And it has completely rocked my world. I find myself quoting it in my mind almost every day. I do this because i've noticed that i struggle an awful lot with this fear of being abnormal. Silly i know. I apply it to all kinds of levels in my life.

Me and my friend... i'll call her Betty... were talking one day about all of the things we would change about ourself. Pretty normal subject matter in the world of teenage girls. Anyway, we kept saying that this part of our body or that way we think about this is different than everyone else it seems. It's extremely unnerving to realize that one part about yourself is not like most people. I am usually a person who enjoys being different... but i have to admit, sometimes it's uncomfortable when that something different isn't something i was trying to make different. 

But again... What is normal anyway? Is it a perfectly tone, olive-complected body? Is it middle-class? How much money does it make? Does it always agree with everyone? Does it stay in the United States? Does it have tattoos? Does it have perfectly manicured nails? What political party does it claim? Does it have to be smart?

If normal is what i think it is i don't think Jesus would like it very much. It's oddly comforting to see that Jesus was in no way "normal". 

The Bible talks about us Christians being a "peculiar" people. (Exd 19:5, Deu 14:2, Deu 26:18, Psa 135:4, Tts 2:14, 1Pe 2:9) I looked up what that word "peculiar" really meant and it surprised me. It always has to do with a possession or obtaining a possession. 

So here's what i'm thinking...

When God saved us, He reconciled us to Him. He is making us into what we were created to be. We are his possessions. His peculiar people. We are being made into what we should have been... something very abnormal compared to the rest of the world. 

If i explained this clearly it should be a very freeing thought. Who cares if we are "normal". 

Because "normal" in our minds really doesn't count for much does it? 

Because "normal" is a myth.