Valentines...

So today was Valentines Day huh?

It's kind of a weird thing going to a Christian college... maybe this happens everywhere- like at every college- but I've heard that it's actually a thing at Christian colleges. The thing is getting in a relationship and having a ring on your finger by spring. Now don't get me wrong... I have really great friends who are getting married right after they graduate and some that are already married and they really, truly have their head on straight. But, I have to say, that there's a lot of people who don't. It's a moderate obsession here... this whole relationship thing.


Let me give you an example... at my own expense....

The other night a girl asked me if I had a "special someone" (who says that?) to share Valentines Day with... I could have jumped at the opportunity to be really snarky, but I knew what she meant. She meant, "do I have a boyfriend"...

"No I don't", I replied with a smile on my face, hiding my cynicism.

"Oh... have you ever had a boyfriend here?"

wow.

"No, I haven't. I've been on a few dates, but nothing serious."  (handled that one well...)

(here's the kicker---)   "Oh... and you're a senior?"

I swallowed, took a deep breath, and mustered a smile as best I could.  "Yes... yes I am"

In my mind here's how it went:  "Why yes I'm a senior. And no. I'm not a pathetic loser and actually I don't hate my entire existence because I don't have a boyfriend. I'm actually functioning quite well as a human being."



So that's what I mean about the thing at Christian colleges. It's ridiculous really. What's even more ridiculous is that sometimes I fall for it. Sometimes I actually give into the lie that in order to stop feeling lonely I have to be in a romantic relationship. The truth is, everyone feels lonely sometimes and a boyfriend doesn't necessarily cure that. I've been there. Done that.

I'm writing this because today I actually felt a pang of loneliness. It's a little tough when all of your close friends get a Valentine and you don't... not even from your mom. And it's easy to feel unvalued or unlovely. I felt a little of that today.

But you know what? Tonight I baked and baked and baked for a Valentines party for the terrace ladies tonight. About 40 girls showed up and we ate chocolate until our eyes turned brown, put balloons in our shirts like Dolly Parton, and took fabulous pictures with pink feather boas and glitter sunglasses. It was the most fun night of the semester, by far. And I felt so loved and so valued and so lovely (especially in those oversized sunglasses).

That's what cures loneliness... not a boyfriend and a dinner date, or a gallon of ice cream and a sappy girl movie.

It's recognizing the community that you're given in that moment and appreciating them. You will never get rid of lonely feelings until you stop wishing you had something that you don't.

So... I guess what I'm saying is... stop wishing for something else and be thankful for whoever you have now. They are a gift from God and you won't have those specific people in your life forever. Make some dessert and have a party with them or whatever.

Know that you are always loved by someone.