Play.

God showed me something on a walk the other day...

I used to think childlike faith, as it says in the Bible, is a lot like being gullible. 

I used to think it meant, "Don't ask questions, just believe like children believe in Santa Claus or fairy tales."

But that contradicts what i've learned about Christianity. 

We are supposed to test things. 

And if we believe blindly, can God be pleased with that?

Doesn't Jesus want us to have faith in the hard times?

On my walk i saw to adorable little girls playing on a slip and slide. 

They weren't slippin' n sliddin' but they were having fun talking and sippin' n spittin' the water out of the spout part. 

They were just enjoying the summer day...

Not worrying about the chemicals in the water they were drinking. 

Not discussing and arguing over the most expedient way to play.

Not thinking over how sad it was that the summer was almost over. 

...They just played. 

I'm beginning to think "childlike faith" has less to do with believing in God more to do with believing God. 

A lot of times i pray-- no, beg, for more faith so i can do "big things" (whatever those are)

for God and other people. 

I stress myself out!

I was actually walking that day to get "unstressed". 

I miss the days when i was a kid sometimes. 

It wasn't that it was easier. My little crisis's seemed huge to me then, but i somehow knew that it would be fine in the end. After all, my parents could fix anything. 

I think God intends for us to have this childlike mindset all of our lives. 

A childlike faith that doesn't worry about the things that could "contaminate us". 

That doesn't stress itself out over a decision on "where it's best to serve God". 

That doesn't dwell on how much better you could of done. 

I think God just wants us to love Him and go from there..

I think He just wants us to play.

Fishcolate

...Beware...

Seeing as i am a girl... I had one of those ferocious chocolate cravings the other day at work...

So i said to myself, "Self, you should find a way to be healthy while you indulge."

As i am at the register i look to my left... and what do i see?

Omega 3 Chocolate.

Good for the body and mind...

A Win-Win situation, right?

WRONG!

You see, Omega 3 is fish oil. 

So after i regurgitated the "chocolate", i looked at the ingredients

... tilapia, anchovies, sardines...

Need i say more?

Be careful out there all you health nuts.

Walking

Can i just say that Jesus speaks in such creative ways? I've just heard over the past few weeks Him speaking to me in ways that surprise me and i just feel so loved.

There are some times, i'm sure we've all tried to do it, to make something, like a church service or a piece of scripture "feel spiritual". It's like we want to feel like we are growing more mature in our faith. 

It is so dumb. 

It only happens when im at a stand still or stagnant place in my faith. When nothing really good or bad happens, i either am a little scared because i think something bad is going to happen or i try to find that place where God spoke to me in the past.  

When i do the latter, I end up getting so overwhelmed with all of the stuff im "doing for God" or i just give up and think my faith isn't good enough.

I know God is always working in my life, but it is a little unnerving when i can't see Him doing it. Do you know what i mean?

I feel like i always have to be busy, working my way to God...

God has been telling me that sometimes i can't do a dern thing about it. 

Sometimes God just wants me to trust that He is there changing me even when i don't think He is. That He still speaks and i can listen if i can just stop what i'm doing and hear it. That i don't have to run after Him when i can't see him. 

In those times i feel that instead of God leading me by walking ahead of me, or holding my hand along the way; that He is actually walking behind me, whispering in my ear, on occasion, the way to go. That He knows that i can walk on my own now and that I just need Him near enough to fall back on if i need to. 

I know that God is still taking me somewhere, and that gives me this rested feeling. 

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place."  1Cor. 2:14

May peace be with you.

Hip Hip Hurray!

Just wanted to let you guys know that we gave the "Share Yourself" T-Shirt ministry donation to the Toccoa Life crisis pregnancy center. I forgot to get a picture with the sweet old lady there. :(

We got the opportunity to give $201.90, and we still have 8 t-shirts left. I have some larges and smalls and an extra large, so if you want one, hit me up! It will give them around $100.00 more dollars if we can sell them. I know the donation we gave wasn't a lot, but i'm confident that the crafty God we serve will use it. Thank you guys for buying them! You cats look so fabulous in them!

Ugh

I have to say, I'm a little frustrated. I'm not sure who's fault it is, or if anyone is at fault at all. I read articles and books about all of the things that are wrong in the world- human trafficking, aids, orphans, unfair trade, genocide, homelessness... you finish it. There is so much that needs to be fixed. So many people that need to be loved. And so i try to help a little. I do little things here and there and i try to do big things. Im lucky if they even work out. Maybe, to some people, im not trying hard enough. I have no idea. I just get so discouraged sometimes because i feel like i can't do enough. That i can't love enough. As soon as i try something new, i fail or quit. I have an idea to buy something for someone in need, and then i find out that it was made in a sweatshop. I pay for someone's lunch, and then i remember that i forgot to tithe. I go to an expensive Christian college to learn how to do all of the things i want to do for God better, then i read about people who give up all of their money to just go to Africa and serve the needy. I try to educate myself on how to do things better, but all i get from it is what a bad job i'm doing at it. It's not like i feel obligated to do good things. I really really want to because i love God and i love people. It just seems like i do it badly. I don't have a solution yet to my ramblings. So there's my heart right now. 

Rhythm

 

I heard this from a guy today.

We start out life experiencing rhythm.

The first thing we feel is our own heart beat, and the first thing we hear is our mother's heart beat.

Our bodies function to a rhythm. 

Our music has a rhythm.

This guy said that sometime in our life, if we are Christians, we start to hear God's rhythm, His heart beat.

I sense His heart beat in church sometimes, sometimes not.

I hear His heart beat when i hear stories of people giving up everything they have for something or someone they love. 

I feel His heart beat when someone hugs me. 

I see it when i see something so beautiful it literally takes my breath away. 

I sense His heart beat when i create something. I see it in relationships- mother-daughter, father-daughter, marriage, friendships.

 

I love to feel God's heart beat. I crave it. I long for it so much that i want it for myself. I want to have His heart beat. I don't always understand why. It isn't the most logical thing. I look pretty dumb to most people i'm starting to notice. But there's something inside me i can't control anymore. I want what God wants and i don't even know what it looks like yet. I just know that i'm headed there.

I've heard this phenomena called "passion". Maybe that's what i have. It seems too lofty for me. It sounds like it requires unfailing commitment and responsibility. I don't measure up to that yet. I fail a lot. But what i have is something like that i think. It's a scary thing to be honest, but it is equally wonderful. 

Seeds

Im doing a Beth Moore study that looks at the Psalms of Ascent. I was reading something the other day that really stuck out to me. She was talking about when she went to Angola to serve the poor. As she was stood there trying to "absorb the sights and smells of living death", one of her friends said, "One of the most frustrating things is that in villages where they receive seed, they often eat the seed rather than planting it and bringing forth a harvest." 

Why do some people (me included) read the bible, listen to endless amounts of messages, and read multiple books on how to break free from this or that sin, and still remain in bondage?

We are so moved by a message or a passage in a book that we actually cry over it. 

We've memorized the scriptures about loving our enemies and forgiving people, but we walk past people who have hurt us and treat them as if they don't exist.

The biggest thing for me is that i can quote scriptures about how Jesus died on the cross for our sins and forgave me, but i still walk around feeling guilty and unworthy of love.  

I, and i trust many others, have heard that God lives in us, but we have absolutely no confidence in ourselves. We pray, but don't really think an actual change will happen. We play it safe because we don't really think God can work through us. 

Why do some people see the results of God and others don't?

 

Because we have eaten the seed instead of sowing it. 

When we hear something that we feel God is telling us, we relish the moment and thank God for using the Word, the speaker, a book, etc. but we forget to actually believe it and try it out in our own lives. We think it sounds awesome and we can see how it could change our life forever, but somehow we just don't do it. What happens is that we ate the seed instead of sowing it. 

"...The seed of God's Word can fill our stomachs and give us immediate satisfaction and still not produce a harvest.-- that's when we eat the seed instead of sowing it." 

Again, these are not my thoughts, but they were so powerful to me that i had to share them. 

This is what God is teaching me. 

I love you guys!