Blue Like Jazz

Go check out the link to this new movie. It's a movie based on Donald Miller's book Blue Like Jazz. 


I don't have much else to say other than that it's completely amazing. This book has shaped my faith more than any other books about God or spirituality. 


It says all the things you're scared to say as a Christian. It's tells you what you're really thinking when you're scared to admit it. 


It's honest and, frankly hilarious. 


Don't take yourself too seriously when you read it. 


And go watch the movie afterwards!


Here's the link...




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOglQgyxYkI

Trinkets

I always end up writing something right at the moment Im about to turn my alarm clock on, switch my fan on, and try to fall asleep. Something hits me and I just sit there staring at my computer debating with myself whether I should turn it back on, which takes a ridiculous 10 minutes, or tell myself that what Im thinking really isn’t that worthy of words and roll over in my bed to get a decent amount of sleep. I always end up staying up at least an hour an a half longer if I decide the former. 

Tonight is one of those nights when the right side of my brain won out and Im attempting to scribble out whatever it was that I thought was so profound all the while trying to keep my bleary eyes open. 

Here it goes…

I think I am finally understanding who Jesus is. 

I always loved the idea of Him while growing up. He sounded very nice and everyone told me He did a very thoughtful thing for me. (dying, of course). 

I also believed that there was a huge God above the sky responsible for all this beautiful creation and I also thought He was very nice for creating flowers for us. 

When I decided to identify myself with this group of people who follow God’s teachings in the Bible and live with integrity and love I realized God was even better than I thought. He gave me a community who knew what love really was and showed me how serving made me much happier than shopping and kissing ever could. 

Then I God gave me something else… this crazy thing called the Holy Spirit. It was like God crawled inside me and sucked out all of the hopelessness from my heart and filled me up with peace. It was incredible and it still is. 

God did all this stuff for me and I can’t even understand most of it, but now I feel like Im finally coming face to face with Him. 

It’s like I’m one of those Compassion International kids in Kenya who gets a card and some trinkets from a wealthy and kind-hearted American once a month. I even get a little teary eyed when I think about all that I’ve been given. I don’t even deserve it. 

But… 

I have never met this rich and generous American… until now. 

I don’t know how or why I feel like I’m finally coming face to face with Him but I am. Honestly I was a little intimidated to finally meet him. I have a lot of expectations about Him and I’m nervous that I wont exactly know what to say. I mean, He already knows what Im thinking, but that just makes it even more intimidating. 

I see Him from across the room and He’s coming nearer. He has such a kind smile on His face but Im seriously starting to sweat. When He finally comes close enough to touch He takes me by the hand and pulls me into a bear hug and I feel like I’ve known him all my life. 

In a metaphor, that’s what it’s been like recently. 

I’ve been reading the gospels lately and I have been floored by His personality. He is the friendliest guy ever and he’s smart too. He always knows exactly what to say in every situation and He knows how to make me laugh. He can boost my self-confidence just by one small smile and He teaches me how to be a better person without ever making me feel dumb or incompetent. I think that He would invite me over to dinner and want me to tell Him all about my life- even though He knows it all already. He would ask just to listen to his child and his friend talk and He would hear every word said. 

I still find Him intimidating sometimes, and honestly I still find it awkward to pray. It’s a weird balance of striking up a good conversation with a new friend and still keeping a level of reverence. Im not sure if I should talk about my day first or thank Him for the sunset. But I think it’s going to just get easier and easier. He has a way of breaking my guard down. 

So I hope that this was as profound as I thought it was in the morning… or at least worth it to have stayed up an hour later. The point: I’ve made a really cool new friend and I hope I can be just as good of a friend as He is to me. 

Yeh, this is definitely going to sound cheesy in the morning. 

Reality

• This is probably going to turn out weird… like a whiny baby weird.

  Sometimes I feel like we as Christians have to be passionate about a certain something. You know? Like I have to be wearing an organization’s name on my t-shirt, and it better be a freaking cool t-shirt or it’s just not a good enough cause. 

  And if you wear the same organization’s t-shirt as so and so, it’s also not a very good thing. 

  Maybe this is just me, but I feel a whole lot of pressure to dive into some cause of some sort. It’s intimidating to me because I don’t really feel like I can do that. I mean, it’s really cool to see people passionate about one thing, but I don’t know if Im going to be able to do that. 

  There’s so much going on in the world and I just want to love people. I don’t even know how to love them well half the time, but I have this fiery feeling in my heart that keeps me awake at night and compels me to find any way I can to make sure people know they are loved. I think I do this well by listening to people’s stories (Maybe that’s why Im a counseling major)… But that’s not really good enough to go on a t-shirt.
  
  I was reading in the book of John today (ok, I was studying for a Gospel of John test…) And I just love how confident Jesus was when He loved people. He always knew how to love people well.
  He always knew what to say.
  He always knew when to back off.
  He always had confidence.

  I just love that.

  I want to be that confident in the way I love people. I don’t think Jesus needed a cool t-shirt or a popular blog to feel like He had to right to jump into people’s lives and love the crap out of them. He just did it. And it wasn’t all that cool back then. I don’t think people admired the way He did things sometimes. It was a little weird to some people.
  
  I want to be so passionate about loving people that it doesn’t matter what context I do it in.
  If Im an RA, I want to love well.
  If Im living back at home, I want to love well.
  If Im working at Walgreens, I want to love well.
  If Im working for an organization nobody knows about, I want to love well.

  I sick and tired of basing my faith on how good it looks on a t-shirt.
  
  I just want to know that I am being Jesus to people everyday. I want Jesus to be proud of me. I just want to figure out how to love Him more.
  
  So this was all some sort of reality check for me I guess.  
• LINK
  
  

Valentines...

So today was Valentines Day huh?

It's kind of a weird thing going to a Christian college... maybe this happens everywhere- like at every college- but I've heard that it's actually a thing at Christian colleges. The thing is getting in a relationship and having a ring on your finger by spring. Now don't get me wrong... I have really great friends who are getting married right after they graduate and some that are already married and they really, truly have their head on straight. But, I have to say, that there's a lot of people who don't. It's a moderate obsession here... this whole relationship thing.


Let me give you an example... at my own expense....

The other night a girl asked me if I had a "special someone" (who says that?) to share Valentines Day with... I could have jumped at the opportunity to be really snarky, but I knew what she meant. She meant, "do I have a boyfriend"...

"No I don't", I replied with a smile on my face, hiding my cynicism.

"Oh... have you ever had a boyfriend here?"

wow.

"No, I haven't. I've been on a few dates, but nothing serious."  (handled that one well...)

(here's the kicker---)   "Oh... and you're a senior?"

I swallowed, took a deep breath, and mustered a smile as best I could.  "Yes... yes I am"

In my mind here's how it went:  "Why yes I'm a senior. And no. I'm not a pathetic loser and actually I don't hate my entire existence because I don't have a boyfriend. I'm actually functioning quite well as a human being."



So that's what I mean about the thing at Christian colleges. It's ridiculous really. What's even more ridiculous is that sometimes I fall for it. Sometimes I actually give into the lie that in order to stop feeling lonely I have to be in a romantic relationship. The truth is, everyone feels lonely sometimes and a boyfriend doesn't necessarily cure that. I've been there. Done that.

I'm writing this because today I actually felt a pang of loneliness. It's a little tough when all of your close friends get a Valentine and you don't... not even from your mom. And it's easy to feel unvalued or unlovely. I felt a little of that today.

But you know what? Tonight I baked and baked and baked for a Valentines party for the terrace ladies tonight. About 40 girls showed up and we ate chocolate until our eyes turned brown, put balloons in our shirts like Dolly Parton, and took fabulous pictures with pink feather boas and glitter sunglasses. It was the most fun night of the semester, by far. And I felt so loved and so valued and so lovely (especially in those oversized sunglasses).

That's what cures loneliness... not a boyfriend and a dinner date, or a gallon of ice cream and a sappy girl movie.

It's recognizing the community that you're given in that moment and appreciating them. You will never get rid of lonely feelings until you stop wishing you had something that you don't.

So... I guess what I'm saying is... stop wishing for something else and be thankful for whoever you have now. They are a gift from God and you won't have those specific people in your life forever. Make some dessert and have a party with them or whatever.

Know that you are always loved by someone.

Minor Key

Here’s something strange about me…

I hate the smell of roses. Sometimes I think I’m breaking some sort of unwritten rule for the entire female population. All girls love the smell of roses. But I don’t. I haven’t since I was eleven.

            When I was eleven I saw a dead body for the first time. It was my aunt. She wasn’t very old. In fact, she was very pretty and young looking for a woman at the age of forty. I didn’t know her very well, but I remember that I always thought that about her.

That day, I remember that I really didn’t want to be there. Not because I was sad, but because I was bored. Instead of sneaking into unoccupied rooms with my cousin in hopes of finding something spooky, I was stuck following my mom around and shaking hands with people I pretended to know. It was all very uninteresting to me, except for the flowers. Red roses- supposedly my aunt’s favorite. Those were very pretty.

            I remember the moment I saw her. I don’t know if eleven year olds are supposed to be able to process seeing a dead body, but I don’t think I could. There, lying like a Barbie in a box was the shell of a beautiful woman never to talk or laugh or sing again. I couldn’t say I was sad because, honestly, I didn’t know who she was, but I remember almost wetting myself when I saw her. Looking straight at death from across the room scared me more than the Chucky movie I sneaked a peek of over at my friend Heather’s house. I never wanted to see people that I loved scrunched up in a box, painted like a pale porcelain doll, unable to wrap me in their arms and hug me again. I hated death. I also hated the smell of roses.

*

*

*

            It’s sort of funny how God does things in our lives. I think He does too and He enjoys being a sneaky rascal. He seems to take the very things that make me squirm in my seat, fight back tears, or run screaming in the other direction and have me come face to face with them again in order to do something beautiful. I guess I should see it coming, but most of the time I don’t.

            The most ironic thing God has done with me so far is given me the gift of counseling people. I love it so much that I’m earning a degree in it. And you probably saw this coming, but I have discovered that the people I deeply love to listen to are  people lamenting some sort of loss. I have fallen in love with grief.

            I love it because it forces us to be raw. Completely naked before God. Throwing our hands in the air and weeping from the deepest part of our soul is one of the most authentic things humans can do. And it’s necessary. Without grief we can never experience the complete brokenness it takes to make us fall to our knees at the feet of Jesus. It’s one of the most beautiful things God has given us. It’s as beautiful as music.

*

* 

*

I have this friend named Julia and, in my opinion, she can sing better than anyone I have ever heard. I might be the only person who thinks this because her music is sort of unusual. I think that’s why I enjoy her so much. If I had to use words to describe it I would use words like delicate

and haunting. Her music literally gives me chills kind of Johnny Cash does. One time I asked her why her music doesn’t sound like the girls on the radio.

“I like to play in minor key. It gives the song an eerie feel, but it’s beautiful all the same,” she told me.

I think grief is like beautiful like this. Cold and somber but having the power to deeply move us. Maybe lament can be one of the most intimate ways we can communicate with God. Maybe grief is worship in minor key.

*

*

*

This past weekend I had some of the best food I have ever put into my mouth. Maybe I was just flying high because my entire family was together sharing the meal with me, but it was probably the food. If you’ve never had vegetable stew made from vegetables grown in the backyard you seriously do not know what you’re missing. All forty of us were packed into my grandparent’s house in Tennessee. I spent the weekend catching up with cousins who have moved far away, looking at pictures of new babies, and blowing dust off of my dad’s old yearbooks in the basement. The reason that all of us put our lives on hold to come together was because my grandma died.

            We all came to Tennessee to weep and mourn together over the loss of the most vibrant, caring, animal print-wearing woman we all loved. But it wasn’t all sad. As we looked at old pictures of her, we laughed and told stories about all kinds of outrageous stuff she did in her life. She was, hands down, one of the craziest ladies I have ever known. As I was looking at old pictures of her I looked around at all of the people stuffed in the small living room.

            None of us would have ever come together if it hadn’t of been because of tragedy. None of us would be laughing and hugging and getting sloppy wet kisses on the cheek from Aunt Mary. It took death to create this moment.

            Even though I still don’t like the smell of roses, I have come to believe that grief has a way of making us see all of the beautiful things in life more clearly. Like the unique bond of family, or the gift of sharing a meal with people, or the miracle of a sunset over the Blue Ridge Mountains. Tears have a way of washing away all of the meaningless crud and free us to let go of things we once had so we can embrace the next gift God wants to give us.

            So who knows what God is going to have me look square in the eye next. It’s probably going to be something that makes me want to run as far away as possible. But if God is as good as I’ve come to think He is, He’s going to make the sweetest music out of it.            

passion.

I want to feel made for something. 
I want to have that moment where there is no where else in the entire world i would rather be.
I want to have something that I fall asleep dreaming about. 
I want to have a fire so deep in my heart that I cannot help but chase it. 
I want that something to feel so right in my soul that I know God wove it in me. 
I want to have a purpose.. a specific purpose that I can follow with my entire life.. and not just     when I happen upon it later in life. 
I want it now so I can devote my whole existence to it. 


I am dying for a dream. 

Love is my identity

Over the past year I have really been wrestling with this whole identity concept. I've heard every college student goes through it, but really I wonder if that's true sometimes. I mean I don't hear anyone else talking about not feeling like they have a place they belong to or a niche.

College is a weird place too if you think about it. We come here with all of these strangers and live with them. There are tons of clubs and teams that people are encouraged to become a part of and everyone makes their own mini life. We have jobs and homes and community and it all seems like we recreate ourselves once we're here away from our parent's home.

But what if the communities we envisioned ourselves becoming apart of don't happen the way we saw it? What if we don't make the team or find out that we're not as (whatever) as we thought we were. What if you can't find that sweet spot that everyone talks about and sees on TV?

It kind of feels like a mid-life crisis... or at least what I think it must feel like.

There's almost a pang of loss or a sense of low-grade grief because our expectations are totally flipped. We try to just pick up and go on.. find a new community or thing to invest in.. but after a while the searching is kind of exhausting. I mean, shouldn't we have found whatever everyone else is talking about by now?

This is the dialogue that's been in my head. Tiring isn't it? It has no end and, really, no hope. And I think it's a little too tragic to be reality.

I think God has been trying to tell me for a while now that my relationship with Him is the only thing that makes me me. All of the other stuff doesn't stick to me the way He does. I can have the biggest group of friends or just one and still feel lonely or unfulfilled. I can be the star in every play, starter on every team, and leader of any ministry and still feel like a stranger to myself. Whatever I'm searching for won't ever become clear to me unless I have God close to me holding the flashlight.

While this not so easy to keep in my head when I start to feel lost, the concept is so simple that I'm ashamed to say I forgot it. I can't feel like me without God! My search for identity in the communities here is meaningless unless I have every intention of growing closer to God and loving other people through it.

It's just like 1 Corinthians 13 says-- I can't do anything without love! Nothing else will last without it. Everything I'm good at will eventually end and my group of friends won't be impressive forever. If I have love the things I do will matter forever.

So this semester I want to focus on keeping my sense of home in my heart rather than in my communities. I want to feel at peace within myself so that I don't feel a need for a certain community to define me. I want to feel at home with God in my heart when everything around me starts to look unfamiliar and lonely. I want my identity to be love.

A burden

This is something I've been thinking about for a while, but I haven't been able to fully put my finger on it. Tonight it became a lot clearer after I watched a great movie called Freedom Writers. Near the end of the movie the main character Mrs. G is experiencing the crisis of her husband leaving her while at the same time discovering a passion buried deep inside her to change the lives of the inner city kids through her english class. She is in the middle tragic loss and incredible and inspiring gain. Her dad tries to comfort her as she's crying and he says, "You have been blessed with a burden. Not many people can say that."

Right when I heard that line it all lined up for me (pun fully intended).

I feel like my whole life I have been fed up with my life. It's not that I don't like my life or that I'm not grateful. I am so thankful for everything because it has been a gift and it's all made me who I am. It's just that I feel like I've been given too much. A year or two ago I would have wrote a blog about this that said some things like, "Why is it that Americans have so much and don't care about the poor?" and "We are so selfish in this God forsaken country" and blah and blah. I would have probably used exclamation marks to mark my frustration as well. People have made a lot of money writing books that say all of those same kinds of things. It gets people fired up I think.
But you know what? After reading those kinds of books and talking in my "Christian groups" like that you know what makes me feel like?-- a cynical know it all. Sure it fires me up, but at the end of the day I feel terrible and ignorant and I probably haven't done anything to fix the problem.
Im sick of feeling bad that I have so much and then tearing myself down for it. That's not healthy and it doesn't get anything done.


What struck me about what Mrs. G's dad said was that he was pointing out how she had been all wrapped up in her students lives. She woke up everyday thinking about them and worked all day to help them become better people. She wore expensive pearls that her dad gave her everyday to class, and she still changed those kids lives dramatically. She could never relate to the kids in her class that lost their parents and friends to gang violence. She had probably never gone a day in her life without a good meal, and she had certainly never been looked down upon for the color of her skin. Plainly, she was definitely more blessed with material things than her students and that did not hold her back.

I have spent so much time and energy worrying that the stuff I've been given is going to hinder my dreams of helping people. I want my life to so wrapped up in a purpose my wealth is forgotten unless God tells me He needs it in the plan. If God can use the poorest of poor then certainly He can use me.
I just have to be confident that I can do it.

I probably have way more to learn about this before I can nail all of it down, but looking forward to seeing what comes out of this new perspective and I'm going to be keeping my heart open for a burden.

blogging is absurd

I'm starting to hate this blogging thing. I mean really now... why did I think that what I wrote would be seen by millions of adoring viewers who commented regularly and always with praise? AND thinking this, how did I muster up the courage to put my mind in digital characters for all of those potential readers to read? Who does this?

I hope that because I have no regular readers that I can actually do this thing without being paranoid that's it's not entertaining enough. I'm pretty sure I like to write. I wouldn't be taking random journalism classes if I didn't right? And I think I must be decent at it to get A's. It would seem that I would enjoy blogging with or without lots of readers...

hm.

Well I guess I don't have a new years resolution yet and this seems kind of doable. I'm going to do this thing. I am going to blog and do it well. I'm going to pretend there are no people out there and pretend this is my paper journal. I'm going to try to keep in mind that this is for me.. to make me a better writer and thinker.. not fame or whatever.

here goes something..

The Beauty of Lattes and Colors

  

Sitting on the sunny porch of the Big A coffee shop, I feel a chill in the breeze. I look around me and see bright oranges and yellows and deep reds instead of the usual spring greens. The world around me is slowly approaching the death of winter, but in the process, is becoming more brilliant than ever.

There’s something deeply beautiful about that.

In this short transition season, we enjoy the vivid colors of the trees, cool weather, and warm pumpkin pie lattes and we don’t even think about the death in all of it.

I think that’s what makes this season my favorite. It’s not the apple cider and butternut squash—it’s the hopeful paradox of beauty and death.

The flowers and trees know that the death of winter is coming, but instead of solemnly creeping along in their existence until then, they burst into vivid glory and live their last days in brilliance.

In these last days of nature, I am surrounded by the call to live vibrantly through the times in my life that feel like they’re approaching a sort of death. My walks to class remind me that God makes my life colorful and breathtaking even when all I can see is lifelessness and all I can feel is coldness.

Through this season, I’m learning that these darker times in my life are the perfectly crafted moments where He chooses to make my life colorful and comforting—if only I decide to notice it.

This fall may you see all of God’s brilliant colors around you.

Okay again

What is it about Scripture that makes everything seem okay again?




It's like when you're a kid and some bully at school says something really terrible about you and you go home and there's warm chocolate chip cookies on the table.


Or when you're the bully at school all of a sudden and you say some really terrible things about somebody. You come home and you're mom says it's not the end of the world but that redemption needs to happen. It's encouragement with a kick in the butt.


Or it's like when you get to college and you don't know who you are and you think some really terrible things about yourself and you come home and are reminded that what you're good at doesn't matter nearly as much as you think it does.




Lately Scripture is all of this for me. I wish i could say that it always has this affect, but honestly, i don't run to it as much as i need to. I have this new desire to read the raw Word and it's like coming home. 

Rockclimbing wall!

I refuse to get sentimental...

This is my last week and i plan on just rollin into the RA thing at TFC without one single stupid little tear. That's why i'm procrastinating on writing the Koreans the letter im going to give them along witht the picture album and shell cross i made. Im also trying not to take too many pictures. Once i start i feel like if i dont get a picture of everything it's the end of the world. Silly. 

So this is going to be a 'in the moment' post and not a 'this has been a wonderful summer..sniff..tear..' post, k?

Tomorrow my groupies and i are going to build a rock climbing wall! How fantastic is that? We finished the monkey bars and ladder for the fort today and we almost have the rest of the fort finished. We also have one of the two swing sets almost completely built. Don't worry, I will get pictures. 

I will head straight to Toccoa on Sunday from MB... tell me about it.

Love!

boiled peanuts and choco-toffee coffee

Sitting at the Chesterfield again waiting on my last group of campers.. yeh I said that last time, but remember my last post? I get one more group and we are going to build a surprise playground for the Koreans!!! Im still trying to figure out how to split up the projects for my campers, but im sure when I meet them all ill know where they fit. We finished up worksites this past weekend and Matt helped me practice my “skilsaw skills”. (I liked that too.) We finished roofing a house, scraping tar and repainting a house, and doing some little painting and railing at the Waccamma boy’s home. It was hard work, but I love getting a little painty and dirty.

Something I don’t love as much: getting into accidents. Yes. This morning Emily, Noah, Gus, and I had the grand idea of doing our laundry at the mat before church. It was raining and S. Kings Ave. was flooding. There’s too much detail to be interesting, but basically I got into a fender bender and the side of my car isn’t too pretty. That’s the facts. Talking about it too much makes me a little queasy.

Some fun facts: Jack just gave me boiled peanuts and I made some chocolate toffee coffee. I also finished my book “So long insecurity” by Beth Moore. I always feel a little embarrassed telling people that I’m reading that and it makes me feel a tad better just to say that. So now that it’s out I going to tell you that you should read it. No, it wasn’t a self-help book. (as if you’re arguing with me) It was just wonderful and friendly written. I love how she writes like she talks. It’s like one side of a conversation. I highly recommend it whether you struggle with insecurity or not (I think everyone does a little), but it’s definitely a girl’s read.

So that leads me to another paragraph: Does anyone have any book suggestions? I know you guys read because you’re reading this (clever!) I would love novel suggestions (in the unique sense and in the type of book sense). 

Letteth me knoweth!

All of you are wonderful human beings.

Love.

Playground!

Here is news!!! :

1. I get to stay for the full week next week.

2. I get a group for next week at... The Korean Church!

3. I get to build a SURPRISE PLAYGROUND!!!



Can you tell im a little excited??



I have worked all summer at the Korean United Methodist church building and beautifying their first sanctuary of their own. It has been a beast of a project but it has been amazing to work there. The Korean people seem a little timid so it took about 4 weeks to really get to know them. They have opened up so much and Mrs. Hye even said she considers me Korean if I would just duck down a little to be as short as her.... they are hilarious! Rarely do staff stay at one site all summer, but new projects kept coming up. We completely transformed the pastor's office and built him some awesome bookcases. We also got to build more of those awesome bookcases for a mini library where they can hold Korean Intensive courses for the community which teach people how to read and write Korean. The rotten wood on the outside of the church is replaced and repainted and the jungle of ivy and weeks is tamed.
It looks like a real church home and they are so so so excited!

Joe, my director, knows how much i have fallen in love with these people and has been helping me figure out one last surprise project for them. At first it started out as a couple of swingsets but now it has become an all-out playground. I am building two swingsets, a fort/platform with a ladder, connecting monkey bars, and hopefully a slide. I have never done anything like this, not even a deck, so i have been thinking and drawing and shopping all day. I have a team of 12, but im not sure if they are in jr or sr high. If you think about me next week say a mini prayer for me because i will need it.


Love!

If I sent you a postcard and you havent sent me one back...shame on you.

Homes

7.25.10

Today was beautiful. Actually the last two days have been. Yesterday the girls on staff went to Mrs. Janice's house for the most delicious low country boil. Emily has worked on her house a lot this summer and has become like part of their family. Mrs. Janice’s daughter died when she was 22 and her spunky granddaughter Jayana now lives with her. Emily says she thinks she has opened up to her so much because she is a lot like her daughter.

After lunch we all snuggled up on the couch and watched a murder mystery on lifetime. It was nice to be in a real home for a while, and not to mention having a real home cooked meal.

Later yesterday three staff from Gatlinburg came in and I love them all. Jon is a worksite beast, Megan is the sweetest girl, and Griffin leads worship with Matt and Natalia and has a superb ghetto alterego.  I really wish they were staying for more than a week.

This morning we all went to the Korean church for their 27^th year anniversary celebration service. Yeah! Here’s what’s up: last week we all had a major change of plans at the church and had to paint the ceiling. It was a little frustrating because our walls were halfway painted and ceiling wasn't going to look good without popcorn texture. But later they explained that they had to have it painted so they could go ahead and put the lights and air conditioning in. They wanted to have their anniversary service in their new building whether it was finished or not. I told Mrs. Hye we were coming to the sunday morning service last night but she decided not to tell the pastor or anyone else because she wanted us to be their surprise. I wish you could see the look on their faces and tears in the eyes when all 13 of us walked in.

Other than the scaffolding in the back and the paint tape around the window frames and doors it looked like a real church. I couldn't understand most of the message but I knew what it was about. He spoke on a passage in Luke-- the one about how to pray and the power of persistent prayer. Throughout the message I kept hearing "TEAMeffort" and I knew he was talking about us being the fruit of the church's prayers. The members told us so over a delicious, authentic Korean lunch. One older lady who had been a part of the church since the beginning told us that we were a miracle to them. 

Their appreciation and warm hugs made me forget about the splotches on the walls and the many other imperfections that annoy me. The people there remind me of little kids on Christmas morning when they walk into the new church. It's not just thankfulness that I see but awe and excitement. I can now understand why they were so anxious to move in. They just couldn't wait to see their new home! I love that! That is the joy of the Lord! They are the body and bride of Christ and they are so beautiful!

I am so thankful that it was easy to see the kingdom come and the will of God done on my worksite because some homeowners aren't grateful. I've heard stories of homeowners asking for thousands of dollars so they could hire their own builders who would do a more quality job. I don't know if i'd be as gung-ho about working on the church if they were like that. I'm so happy that the Korean church is loving and giving, but I don't want to say that that's the reason i do the work. I want my motivation for working at TEAMeffort or anywhere else to be the same whether people care or even notice. I want my reason for working, giving, and living to be the glory of God. I want Him to be so important to me that I have no other reason for doing anything. 1 Cor. says that I can move mountains, but without love it is worthless. I want to love fiercely before I get recognized or appreciated for doing great things. I mean why would I take credit? Don’t all good things come from God anyway? 

That is what I’m learning this summer. I pray that I can have this kind of heart next year as an RA. Surprisingly I feel really good about going right into another year as an RA. I thought I’d be burnt out from this summer but the more I work the more rejuvenated and refocused I feel. It’s funny how faith works isn’t it?

Doris and I are chillin in the chesty-chest waiting on my last group of campers to come in. Something dramatic is on TV so im going to peace out.

Love to all!

Le Pier Deux

Relaxing at the Pier again with Kylie. I'm glad no one's here because it has been hec-to-da-tic! 211 campers this week and Gus and I have 50 at the Korean church. We got a lot done but I probably heard my name 100 times today. I think the first day is the most stressful because i have to get everyone in their stations and into the groove. I tried to make it easier for myself by making a worksheet for each team that has a list of tools needed for the job and a step by step how-to list. Type-A? Yes. I think it worked but by the end of the day the sheets were destroyed by paint and sweat.

This is my 5th week at the Korean church and i love it now more than i ever have. I think it takes a while for the Korean people to really warm up to somebody. Im positive they love me now. Eun Park, the pastor's wife and also the assistant pastor, gives me hugs and holds my hands and the pastor, Jung Pai, gave me a glow in the dark necklace and a stinkin' awesome pen with their church name on it that has all different kinds of ink. He gave me a hug too!

We are doing some stuff around the church that they don't know about and i'm pretty happy about it. We are building a gate for their air conditioning unit, landscaping and making a pathway to the back of the church, and washing the outside walls. Mr. James said he thought the church looked 2 times whiter than when he saw it earlier today! Gus also had the amazing idea of making a prayer labrinth around the back of the church. It's basically a little prayer garden with a winding walkway. He wants to make the path out of seashells and I hope i can pick the flowers.

Im in the skit tonight at chapel... look on my facebook wall to look at the lastest video im tagged in. It's a tidbit of how it goes.

That's all for now I think.

Tell me about your lives!

Love!

Le Pier

Im on Pier duty with Gus but no campers are here... so that makes for a perfect time to blog.

This weekend we (the teameffort staff) got to hang out with Karen's ministry staff (Bri, Kelly, Emily, and Luke) and it was loads of fun. Have you ever played Neos? They look like something from the Jetsons and they are the most exciting thing. Let me see if i can explain this... it's like a cage or a wall, depending on which one you go to, of lights that you have to catch or hit, depending on which game you play. One person has to get the red lights and the other green. It gets so intense and you're running around and into one another and you get a little dizzy. Don't you wish i had a picture? 

This week's group is my favorite so far. We have already made another tribe.. "Panasty-nast" (For the nasty paint) Of course i am the chief and my face got attacked with war paint. I have a heart, many dots and lines, and a swirled mustache at the moment. I plan to keep it on through chapel. 

Oh here's something! We no longer have campers or complete strangers walking into our house! That's good right? You see we put a sign on our door that says "Staff Only" and "No, This is Not the Sea Palms Office". That solved that right up. 

All of you lovely people need to check your mailboxes because I just might have sent you some love in the form of a postcard. 

Cooper out!

free time? what is this?

This is bizarre that I have free time let me tell you. I am sitting here with Megan and Emily in our freshly cleaned kitchen eating pretzel sticks and orange blossom honey. Megan stole some of Matt's fantastic cds and we're jamming as I try to think of something interesting to tell you all. 

Oh! Here is something: Due to our house being the storage room for the Pier (our concessions/hang out area) a lot of flies get into our house because we open and close the door so much. With that in mind (we are not complete slobs) let me tell you that there were maggots in our sink. Is our house cursed with every kind of bug on the planet? I think so. 

Also exciting: My group for this week was beastly this week and we finished the altar for the Korean church and built two walls along with sanding and remudding the ceiling. Er.. excuse me "muddockarockin" the ceiling. That's what we call mud. We also call sheetrock "sharockarock". My groups are the tribe of "mudockarock" and I am chief, or Queen depending on the group's preference, "Sharockarock". Clever huh? We have war paint and everything! 

Another fantastic thing that happened today: one of my camper's butt fell completely through the ceiling. We have to get new sheetrock or whatever...but im pretty sure it was worth it. 

And also an old guy on the team took out his teeth at me. I was shocked. 

I still cant get my computer to load my camera, but I'm going to use Emily's because hers magically works. Stupid computer. 

I love you guys and I want to hear all about your lives! I bought postcards today so check your mail this week. 

love!

Un-Polkadotted!

That's right! I don't look like a plucked chicken anymore and i'm not itchy! We got to move back into our apartment and we haven't had any problems so far. Praise the Lord! Now if we can only semi-organize the chaos.

I am at the laundromat again and not quite ready for another round of campers yet. Last week was my second group and I got to lead them at the Korean church by myself. Next week I'll do the same, but I think we will start on building the altar.. so cool!

Gosh there is so much that has happened that I would love to tell you all about but I'll keep it brief. 
The nightly chapels have been going so well. We have some amazing worship leaders and the skits we get to do are hilarious. I get to speak to the students on Tuesday nights after the weekly video and on Thursday nights we do a art/drama presentation that is incredible. (Look up the "New Creation" video on youtube. We use a big canvas instead ;) Julia you would love it!)

Here are some other tidbits i would like to mention:
1. I ate Indian food
2. I ate Korean food
3. My mom and cousins came this weekend and we had a blasty-blast  ;)
4. I've gone through three watches so far
5. I invented something called a banana boat...ask me about that

I love you all!

Attaaack!

Sorry to all of my lovely fans (ha!) for not blogging sooner... as you see i am currently under attack. Yes, attack. The war started Saturday night when my skin started itching and Sunday morning was when the full out seige began. The foe?...BEDBUGS. I woke up covered in red bumps that looked like chicken pox and itched like cuuraazzy! The friends i have made here are amazing to say the least. They helped me find a way to the hospital and are still helping me disinfect the room. I am actually writing this from the laundromat while I wait for our (hopefully) clean sheets to dry. We think we've almost defeated the enemy but i still look like a plucked chicken unfortunately. More on that saga later when i figure out how to get pictures on here.

Other news: I felt like a superhero yesterday at our worksite. Before we even began the sheetrocking... ahem, i mean "sharockarockin" one of the adult leaders fell on a brick and gashed a hole so deep in her kneecap that i could see the muscle i think (sorry.. too much?) I felt like the cheesy people on those first aid videos because i did everything right. Cleared the scene, got directions to the nearest hospital, cleaned the wound, and wrapped it, and tranported the victim to the emergency room. She had to get stiches, but it was awesome.

The night chapels have been going somewhat smoothly. We lost power last night but got it back right in time to start. It was a VERY cool service, however  I will have to blog later about that one... the sheets are almost done.

Sorry for any typos. My itchy hands are my excuse.

Love!